Brain Freeze

Ok for the second week in a row I waited until Sunday to write a short story. Each week I had the story in my head. I had the concept, opening paragraph and the ending all planned out. I had all these things ready for Sunday, but on Sunday I drew a blank. Everything I thought about is gone. So now I’m seating here watching football (yeeaaa football) and looking at this screen trying to decide if I want to try to post or fully enjoy my game.

Random thoughts

I was going to draw this thought out into a long post but I don’t have the time to devote the energy into it, so here it is in a nut shell. Some cities across this country are looking to ban sagging pants. They want to make it against the law for your pants to sag below your waist, exposing your underwear. Hmm, let me understand this correctly, I would be unable to lower my pants exposing another article of clothing because someone else doesn’t like seeing the other article of clothing. Two things about this issue, number 1 your eyes should be leveled with mine not my ass. If you are looking at my ass I hope you like what you see and do say hello. Number 2, does this mean we will be making laws against some of the shirts and skirts women wear? They wear low cut shirts that expose the top of their breast. I’m just saying if I can’t show the top of my boxers/briefs, then they can’t show skin. These short skirts have to go as well. Most girls put colorful stockings on with these skirts, but please correct me if I’m wrong, aren’t stockings undergarments? Land of the free? Free expression? Hmm, I guess not.

Ok, I’ve been procrastinating about moving but it is time. I understand my mom needs help with the bills, but I will be unbothered when I leave. I can’t stay here anymore. So, no more drinking, no more dining and no more hotels, because I need to save. I am a simple man, so my furniture and decorations will be also, but I will need furniture when I move in. I’m looking for a move in date of January 1st, but if I can do it earlier I’m jumping on it.

For my football fans I will be posting shortly about my favorite college team Notre Dame. I shouldn’t admit that that is my favorite team right now because they are winless right now, but they have bigger issues for me than their record. Any one that keeps up with Notre Dame, can you please tell me what’s the difference between the current coach and the coach before him?

random thoughts at work

Ok I'm at work blogging from my phone breaking several company rules right now...ask me if I give a damn. For those of you that don't know I work in a call center for a wireless company that will remain nameless (primarily because they keep changing it) but I work in the offline department. I process bulk request that come in from our corporate accounts. To track our work, we are supposed to keep account of all transactions we make and enter it into this tracking system we have. The system generates how much time it should take to process each transaction and gives us a productivity score. Our score is supposed to be between 94-115%. For the past 5 days mine has been over 150, maxing out at 264% yesterday. I don't fudge my numbers, just a hard worker. So my scores are high, I don't see the fucking problem, but apparently it is. So, me being me, I asked what they wanted me to do since my number is a reflection of the work I'm doing. I was told to lie. What!?!! Even though I think I'm a good liar, this is not something I like doing. Shit, I think I may have told 2 lies this year if that. So I ask, "let me get this straight, you want me to continue to do the work I'm doing, but only put down that I did half of it?" two managers simply told me, "do what you have to to get your number lower." Oh hell no...either I'm getting credit for all the work I'm doing or I'm doing less. This is some bullshit. I'm not playing this game. I know when you work in corporate america you have to play the game, but this is one I won't play (unless it affects my paycheck).

On another note, I plan on posting another post soon. Not sure if its going to be another pleasure principle or a post concerning a bullshit ordinance that cities around the country are trying to push through. Stay tuned. Well I guess I should get back to work since I'm not on break.

short post

I couldn’t resist posting this short post.

I have been posting a lot about love lately and this is no different. It is time for my true love. Fellas and ladies, put down that champagne and brandy, grub a beer or that yak and lets get ready for some FOOTBALL. Thursday, Friday and Saturday are set aside for college football while Sunday and Monday are for the pros. So fellas, turn those whoring wives off, leave the cartoons for the kids and the game shows for the old ladies and get into the hottest three hours of your life. Get into some hard hitting action.

STATE OF A PEOPLE

I wanted to write a thought provoking post on racism, wanted to bring issues of discrimination and flat out injustice going on in the south to the fore front of my post. But being true to my philosophy on politics and self, I had to look within first. Had to take a step back and look at the greatest injustice in my community, look at the group of people destroying my people and keeping them down.

Over the weekend, an eight year old was shot in the head while in the car with his pregnant cousin and her boyfriend. None of the three people were gang members, drug dealers or armed, but on a street in Newark, NJ they were victims. Victims of a war on common-sense, common decency, respect, unity and community. A war that is being won by the soulless, hopeless residents of a city that is rebuilding around them. The young boy will survive, but these shootings are becoming more common place in Newark, while the city tries to rebuild and become more attractive to the suburbanites who commute to the city or New York for work. Mayor Cory Booker has said all the right things, but talk is cheap. Do not misread what I wrote, I think he is trying his best, but sometimes one man’s best is not enough. It will take parents, neighbors, cousins, uncles, aunts and friends to be accountable for those around them. It will take everyone. My views are sometimes extreme and this is one of those times. Like some law makers, I think its time for military action. Yes, I said it. Dare I re phrase it and say, Marshall Law? Why not? Is that not what we are doing in Iraq? Don’t we have military force there to keep the peace (not saying its working over there)? We are losing our streets and our children to ignorance, time for change. Impose a curfew (yes this will either cut some of our get togethers short or force all of us to spend the night at shawn’s), have armed National Guards strategically stationed throughout the city and install cameras throughout the city. Since the community refuses to “snitch,” or help, let big brother do it. I’m sure my republican readers don’t see too much wrong with this idea.

Before you blast me and say this may be too extreme. I challenge you to come up with a better idea, a workable one. Sure, education, better jobs and drug prevention are keys to the success of a people, but let me sum up the problem with the three. 1. All three will take time to become a staple in our community. What do we do while we try to promote education, develop jobs and teach our people to live without the illegal substances? Should we just continue to wash the blood off the streets and school buildings? 2. The problem is not with the lack of education, lack of jobs and lack of preventive drug education, the problem is us. We under value education, legal employment is more of a punishment as it does not yield immediate gratification. Drugs have become our primary source of income and expense. Blood is being shed over drug territory, drug money and the need for drugs. So as you get your thoughts together and ready yourself for a verbal assault on my opinion, please come with your own idea.

Why do you blog?

After an interesting conversation I pose a simple question and my answer to the blogging community. Why do you blog? I really want to know your answer, I’m interested to read everyone’s answer to this question.

I have answered this question in the past but I will briefly re-visit my answer for this short post. In short, I write my blog the same as I used to write in my journal. I use this blog as a release. I let go of some of the things floating around in my head. I rarely censor what I write, rarely spare the feelings of others on my blog because these are my thoughts, my world. I appreciate the comments people leave, really get to learn about them and others perspective on things (see Tyson we see things the same way), however, most of the time I have plotted my course of action, decided what is best for me, or the situation is over by the time I post, so comments that are left rarely affect my actions.

Beat, Hurt, Breath and Release

Beat…No one has to tell me that I’m beat over ‘A,’ I know it to be true for myself. All the signs are right there in front of me clear as day. Shit, who else treats someone else for lunch and buys them a gift on their birthday? But can you blame me? We’ve shared just about everything for almost two years now, he became one of my closest friends, my lover, my partner, a shoulder to cry on, and my other half (and these titles are not necessarily the same). I did for him just because and he did the same for me. We wanted each other to be happy. I would and did just about anything to make him happy.

Hurt…it has been almost a week since those words scrolled across my phone, but to relive it now still causes a shooting pain in my chest and forces me to hold back tears. He finally told me that he doesn’t see us getting back together. He had no reason for his decision, stated that he didn’t understand it himself, but that was his answer. I respected his decision but my world, my dreams, my thoughts for the future shattered. I wanted answer but none made the words easier to digest, none took the sting away from the initial shot.

Breath…I took a deep breathe, collected myself before the tears snuck out of my eyes. Pulled it all together. Used the breath to take in all that was said over the past two years, all that was done and all that was never said. Assessed the rejection text I had just received and tried to figure out my next course of action.

Release…I released the pain for that moment, let go of the memories of the past. I released the memory of the text and the conversation I had with ‘A.’ I released my life and began to live again. I’m learning to live again, while leaving room for ‘A’ (did I mention I’m beat?...lol)