Any Questions?

I tried to keep this inside, but that would not be me. I’m choosing to use this medium because all parties involved, whether directly or indirectly use Blogger.

During this period of change in our lives, things are being said, thought and interpreted but there are few honest answers and/or open discussions, well let me start so there are fewer questions, misconceptions and a clearer future. This is a beginning, hopefully, no matter if we all go our separate ways, we can keep this civil.

1. My comment left on Shawn’s October 18, 2007 blog was the same advice/comment I would lend to anyone in his situation, regardless of my affiliation with the other person. I’m sorry if anyone got hurt by the truth or didn’t realize my answer was going to be any different than what I perceived as the truth because I called both parties involved in the break up friend. I’m fair and consistent, so with the information I had in front of me, after reading his blog, I gave my opinion as I would give to anyone in that situation. I gave the advice that has been given in the past.

2. If anyone other than Xavier took to heart my blog on October 25, 2007, tough, you must have seen yourself somewhere in the words I expressed. As stated in my comment, as much as these were just random thoughts that were going through my head and encompassed a few different situations, it was geared to the spending habits of Xavier and I, who spent until we were, broke the last couple of weekends. However, some elements of my post can easily be associated to another, but is that my fault? Absolutely not! Just means others have similar issues.

3. Friends and advice in the mist of a break up. Neither I, nor any of Shawn’s other friends, could truly call ourselves his friend if we were not there for him. He was broken, surprised and hurt by someone he loved. His relationship was over and he didn’t fully understand what had happened which hurt him more. I can only speak for myself, but after hearing Daniel’s version of the break up, my heart went out to Shawn. I wanted to run to him immediately and wrap my arms around him. Did I choose sides? Yes! I internalized the situation and was thrown back to the day Antwan ended things completely between us; I re-felt that pain and could imagine how Shawn felt. It took me two days to speak to Daniel and I tried to regain my sense of normalcy with him, but it didn’t last long. During this period I offered my opinion when it was asked, and as always, I answered completely. The last thing I told Shawn was his relationship with Daniel was between them, if he wanted to continue to be friends with him, that’s on him and not to worry about our relationship with him. Going along with the theme of friends, advice and break ups, its funny, as I think about everything that has been said, hinted at or suggested, I continue to think about my own break up. To those that were around, is the advice we given Shawn the same that was given to me if not a little more diplomatic? Are we not giving the same advice we gave Omar during the Piper and Akee (sorry if I spelled his name wrong) relationships? Why should the advice be different if situations are similar because we are dealing with a friend? Doesn’t it become dishonest and become selfish if we would have done something other than the norm in this situation? We have encouraged Shawn to make his own decision, don’t rush into dating and try to move on. Is that not the advice you give to a friend in the mist of a break up?

4. Friends. Friendships, because ultimately it is by every right a relationship, should be built on truth and honesty. When that truth is tested, when lies fill the mouth of one friend and character changes or comes to light, a relationship will be put to question. I don’t like to be lied to for any reason and when someone lies to me or manipulates the truth I get annoyed and have to re-evaluate my relationship with that person.

5. If anyone has a problem with anything I have said, have any questions regarding the information on this post or need me to clear up any feelings and/or assumptions, you can leave a comment or text me anytime. Most of you that have my number know my calling restrictions, they still apply. Hope everyone has found what they needed. I tried to keep others feelings in mind and tone back some of my response, because I was told I come off harsh at times.

Happy birthday Lamar
I love you

very random thoughts today...

Ok I'm at work and instead of being the good worker and seeking out work, I'm chilling. I informed the "people" before I left yesterday, I had completed all the work assigned to me and I needed work for the morning. Asked them to email me work and I would handle it when I got in (was going to do overtime last night but after waiting for them to get out of training for 2 and half hours, I didn't want to wait another 10 minutes to beg for work). So I will sit here and blog, get some shit off my chest that might piss some people off, but oh well.

I hate being lied to and I hate break ups. I hate when shit just don't add up. I don't like being lied to, so as I posted before, I rarely lie to people. I'm a firm believer in, "do unto others as you would have others do unto you." So when people lie to me I get annoyed. Break ups, why is it when people break up with someone they assume a lie will make things easier. Try the complete truth, it might not be the easiest thing for the other person to hear but it helps in the end. Stop being a goddamn pussy and saying the bullshit, "its not you its me," "I just need some time," "I need to find myself." Just tell the damn truth, "I'm no longer feeling u," "I want to see what else is out there," "I met someone else and I think I like them more than you," and "I cheated." Lies just lead the other person on and give them an unfair sense that there is a possibility of getting back together soon. Which leads them to want to pause their life for you.

Is it just me or does it seem like when people say they are trying to save money, they begin to go out more and take surprise trips? Could just be me.

My love life seems to be on hold. There is T, he is cool, but has no job and doesn't want a relationship. We chill like once a month, talk and watch a movie. We enjoy each others company but we know where the other stands. We will just be friends. A has been acting strange lately, think he feels a certain way now that he is just a friend. He keeps asking if I'm dating anyone, normally he shys away from this talk with me. Maybe we are finally comfortable with being friends, I don't know. I met someone online, lets call him jc. Before we met in person, I really became attracted to him, he was able to hold a good conversation and really was passionate about his job. Now, I don't know. He seems to be pushing me away or testing me, just not sure.

Ok I was watching the news and I know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a new york city cop. Get this, an off duty cop, shot and killed a man due to road rage. The cop claims the man pointed at him as if he had a gun and made a shooting sound, the cop thought he had a gun and shot him. Not willing to mess up his night, the cop kept driving and turned himself in the next day. Guess what happened to him...you guessed it, they let this motherfucker go home. Of course he isn't being paid while they look into the incident. So, I want to be a new york city cop so I can shoot someone, flee the seen of the crime, admit what I did the next day and not be arrested on the spot. but then again this is the same state that wants to give ILLEGAL immigrants driving licenses.

Ok its been an hour and still no work. I'm going to beg for work now, talk to you later.

random thoughts at work

*I'm currently working on another post regarding sagging pants but unmotivated to finish it. I should just post what I have so far and let you guys have at it.

*I'm single. Ok this isn't new news, but it just hit me. I've met cool people, attractive people and a person I clicked with, but I'm still single. And guess what, I'm not stressing or worried about that. Normally, when I'm single for a long time I'm bummed out about it and need to rush out and find a person to rush into a relationship with. But now, I'm happy with dating me...damn I'm a good boyfriend...lol.

*I have been checking the sexiest poz list almost everyday on a community website I have an account with. I'm HIV negative and not going on there to find out who's positive. I find that most people that are HIV positive and have come to terms with their status are some of the most positive people on the web. Most have an appreciation for life that I don't have, their strength is inspiring and I like it. I can't see myself in a romantic relationship with someone that is positive, but adding them to my circle of friends is definitely a possibility. Shit, one of my friends that I've known for almost 10 yrs is positive and I think our friendship grew once I found out (and after he assured me he was alright and I didn't need to cry).

*the cowboys. Ok the cowboys have been my favorite football team since I started watching football. This past sunday they got their ass handed to them by the patriots. Everyone finally saw that they are really not as good as people thought. Don't let the 5-1 record fool you, the defense is suspect (especially the secondary) and romo has some things he needs to work on.

*I hate break ups. So many people get hurt when break ups occur. I need a hug...lol

*drinking. I need to stop giving out my number when I have a drink in me and the light are dim, because in the light the truth shall shine and sometimes the truth isn't pretty....lol.

Ms. Jones in the morning

I used to refuse to listen to hot97 in the morning. I hated listening to the queen of ignorance, Ms. Jones. However, for whatever reason, she has been missing in action. To my pleasant surprise the show has been bareable. I used to cringe whenever she opened her mouth to voice her opinion on a ropic that reached outside of music. Without her we have DJ Envy addressing current events and comedian Micheal Shawn giving comic relief. Even though his jokes can be crude, his remarks rarely break the ignorant barrier that Ms. Jones seems to be impervious to. When he doesn't have information on a subject he either keeps his mouth shut or makes it known that he is uninformed, whereas Ms. Jones weighs in with her opinion as if she is informed broadcaster. When will we realize that just because we have an opinion, doesn't mean we have to subject others to our ignorant mess?