Jay's Life: Fast forward to the present

I’ve been talking to this guy for a few weeks now. He’s cool, makes me laugh, being around him I found my youth again. I can be a child again and believe me, the child is funnier than the asshole, but how I love the asshole. Back to my new friend, he is tall, young and masculine, what more could I have asked for? We look a little odd together since I’m below average height (5’7) and he is above average height (6’5). It’s still early but things are looking up.

I HATE MY FUCKING JOB (this is the bitch, the asshole, the vent)!!!! I’m pretty sure these motherfuckers are either trying to drive me to quitting, trying to fry my stubborn ass or are fucking with the wrong worker. First they start off by sending an email throughout upper management stating I disrespected the team of people that review our calls, which our bonus’ are dependent on…how fucking stupid do you think I am? I will piss off a lot of people, but never those who are in control of my money, I only kiss their ass. Today someone from that team gave me a low ass score and I’m sure they are fucking with me. But I will prove to them that they can fuck with me as much as they want but nothing good will come of it. (Please post any openings at that your jobs have in the comment section, looking for something over $14 an hour).

I WANT ICE CREAM, PIZZA, MACARONI & CHEESE…JAY’S DISTORTED WORLD MAY BE COMING TO AN END SOON, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO HAVE THESE THINGS SOON. FUCK THE BULLSHIT, I’M HAVING DAIRY SOON. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR SHIT AND I’M NOT GOING TO THE FUCKING HOSIPTAL EITHER.

Ok I’m going to sleep now. Hope to hear from you guys

I am convinced someone or something is trying to keep me from blogging. This is my third attempt in a day trying to post a new blog. I think my brother fucked up my laptop so that shit won't let me log on to the internet. Then I tried to do the shit at work but my phone decided it wanted 2 do a fucking update when I was finished. I'm going 2 try to post the one saved on my computer tonight, but not sure what the hell my brother did. I'm telling all of you now, myspace is of the devil. That spam email is laced with some shit that is fucking with my computer (blaming myspace since that's the only thing his ass knows how to access). So how is everyone else doing today?

just for fuzzy

I can blog from my phone!!!!!

just a rant

This will be a short rant...BEAT YOUR BAD ASS KIDS...common sense and the bible say you should beat your children. lets take it a step further, you see someone's bad ass kids acting out in the street, beat their ass, show their dumb pampering parents how its done. And what do we say to DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services), "stay the fuck out of our business or take this bad ass kid to your house and not to a group home." beat them now or visit them in jail later or worst than that, have them beat you later. Beat them bad ass kids, show them you are not their friends, but their goddamn parents. and for those dumbass people who want to dictate how someone else handles their body, i have a solution that just might work...instead of women having aboration, you commit to take care of their unborn child. pay for her doctors visit, her food and during her last months, pay for her rent also...when the baby comes out she isn't allowed to touch the baby, because its yours. what...u don't want the child? then stay the fuck out of it. we need solutions not complainers. if you don't want to take care of the child, then fuck off and worry about your bad ass kids that sit at home and talk back to you. one last thing...parents your child does not need a cell phone. 50cent and a payphone is all they need to get in contact with you. we have a generation of lil adults, stop it dammit. take the timbs off the babies, destroy the mini skirts and belly shirts from the little whores, get the damn cell phones from their hips...and we wonder why 13 year old girls are getting pregnant and 9 year old boys are joining gangs. wake up you dumb motherfuckers.

cheese, city and ex

Ok so he tried to kill me AGAIN!!!! First he threw me from a car in Georgia, now he went ahead and gave me cheese. To make mattes worst he wanted to walk around Time Square at a sprinters pace. I’m sure he was trying to kill me. Once we slowed down he wanted to go for ice cream and milk shakes. ‘A’ was trying to kill me…lol. Ok, let me back this up. We went to Friday’s for dinner, I ordered the Dragonfire chicken and please, they need to rename that shit. I wouldn’t even say that shit was Lizardsparks. That shit was small as hell. Jay being jay, I flagged the waitress over and in the softest voice I could mustard up, I calmly said, “I’m a big boy and this won’t do, where is the rest of the chicken? I didn’t know this only came in the smaller portions.” She looked at me, at the plate and back at me. “She stated that was the regular size,” she looked at me like I was the one with the problem. So I did what anyone else in my possession would do, I told her she could take that shit back and ordered something else. The problem with ordering something else was I didn’t realize what I ordered had cheese on it. For those of you that don’t know (‘A’ just found out that night), I can’t have dairy, it puts my body in a state similar to a bad asthma attack. While waiting for my food ‘A’ offered me some of his creamy cheese Alfredo, thank you but no thanks. Then my food came out and it is laced with melted cheese, SHIT. I ate it because I was hungry, but I paid for it in a big way. I couldn’t breathe for the rest of the night, my chest felt like Mike Tyson hit me square in my chest.

Not wanting to seem weak, being a little stubborn, I continued the evening. We walked around Time Square, each step felt like half a mile to me. My chest was killing me, I was short of breath. We walked a couple of blocks, but it felt like miles, but I kept lying to ‘A’ and myself and said I was fine. We walked and walked, got the car, drove, stopped and walked some more. Sweat dripped from my head, but I continued to walk. I don’t know if ‘A’ was being funny or not, but he kept asking if I wanted ice cream. The first time I think he forgot about the whole dairy thing, but the other times I think he was being half-funny. But I sure as hell want some ice cream. I want some in the worst way, I mean, if I had to choose right now between ice cream and head, I’m not sure which I would pick.

Despite the fact I couldn’t turn my head (due to my surgery I had on my neck) and couldn’t breathe, I had a good time, until….

the talk

I went out with ‘A’ last night. We went to dinner, then the city and back home. It was a simple evening filled with good conversation for the most part. Unfortunately, the topic of the break up came up and we had a very open conversation about our feelings. For me I could have done without this conversation. But I participated. Initially, I was ok with just keeping my responses simple, telling the truth but watching what I said. But he wanted more. He wanted to know exactly what I was thinking and feeling. So I told him. I explained to him that I decided to black him out of my life, tried to forget him altogether. It was the easiest way to deal, maybe not the right way, but the easiest. Explained to him that his name is not allowed to be bought up at all and the one friend I have that doesn’t follow that rule gets hung up on regularly. I could tell he was a little hurt by my words, but he said he needed to hear that. I realize I need to face my issues I have with him and our “relationship,” and I use that term loosely, but I don’t want to. Every time I think about the situation I get upset, more so at myself for staying as long as I did. I did not intend on being hurtful, honestly, like I stated before, I was ok with him not knowing any of this. It’s not like I blame him completely for everything that happen, I do recognize my part in the whole thing, so I’m not mad at him, but that doesn’t mean I’m not hurt. After the conversation I figured that any chance that we could have gotten back together or be friends anytime soon had just gone out the window (not that that’s what I was looking for). I miss him in my life, but I can’t say that I’m saddened by this revelation.