NEW BLOG

So I've decided to write a story on blogger and instead of writing on this blog I created another blog. Check out my tale...A Blogger's Tale at www.abloggersstory.blogspot.com Leave a comment and enjoy a work in progress.

brief update

Currently dealing with some family issues, not going to get into it right now.

Trying to write a part 2 to the short story I started in my previous post, think I'm going to create another blog dedicated to it. I will keep you posted.

Current mood: FUCK THE WORLD, DON'T ASK ME FOR SHIT!!!!

Started with a nod

It was a normal day, the sun like myself, was struggling to rise to its full potential this early in the damn morning. I made my way to the New Jersey Parkway so I could put in my eight hours of work, ok five hours of work, at a dead in job that pays my bills and doesn't stress me out. Scanning the radio to find music and not talk, I look up and my eyes are focused on a plump ass. This short stocky brown skin guy was walking toward the bus stop. His short build reminding me of a back up point guard, thick strong calfs, big tight ass and strong arms. My eyes were fixed on his ass and legs when the unthinkable happened, he turned and looked right at me. I was caught, there was no denying where my eyes were fixed on, so I did the only thing I could, I nodded. He had a confused look, but figured I was just saying good morning since I had seen him several times before, so he nodded back. He was only 18 at the very most, but his 5'6 frame screamed sex appeal. I gathered my eyes from his ass and continued to make my way to work. During my forty-five minute ride I thought of tasting and palming his juicy ass, having his short thick legs around my waist as we passionately kissed. I was now fully up in every way you can think of as I pulled into my parking spot at work, pre-cum dripping from my manhood, soaking my H&M briefs and Diesel jeans.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, I made sure I was able to wait for him at the light so I could watch him stroll to the bus stop. Ass and legs, a nod and a smile, images that led me to the bathroom stall at work. Friday brought a frown to my face as I thought about the four days I would have to go without seeing my new vision of joy in his basketball shorts. I had off Monday and Tuesday and would have to go without seeing my new friend. BOOM! The crack of thunder roared throughout my house, waking me from my sleep Monday morning. It was pouring outside and nature was putting on a light show that could rival any 4th of July firework show. I looked at my clock and realized my little buddy would be walking to the bus stop in this mess soon and I couldn't have that. I grabbed a shirt, put on my timbs, grabbed my keys and license and headed out to get my friend out of this mess. There he was, walking faster than normal toward the bus stop. "Yo, you want a ride?" It was Monday and I had no where to be so I could offered to take him where he needed to go and see how much of this young tender I could get to know. He paused for a second, looked around and just headed to my scar. There was no time to be shy, no one wants to stand in the rain, especially not this hard waiting on a bus and probably have to walk to their destination once they got off, plus I look harmless so he probably assumed I wasn't a threat to him.

"Thanks man."

"Don't mention it, where are you headed." I wanted to make sure he was comfortable before I started asking questions or giving my real intentions away.

"Kean University, you can drop me off at the Morris Ave. entrance and I can walk on campus if that's cool with you," his voice was strong, filled with masculinity, but he spoke better than I thought he would. I thought Ebonics would be his first and only language.

"I can drop you off on campus if you like, I have no where to be."

"Thanks. Have we met before?"

"I doubt it, I'm Jay. I was up doing nothing, and I see you every morning so I figured I would do my good deed for the month."

"Oh that's whats up. Thanks again, I would have been soaked." I thought about his basketball shorts being wetter than what they were, his white shirt pulling closer to his chest and I began to rise in my own basketball shorts that I had gone to sleep in. "I'm Jared, by the way," I let a chuckle out and hoped he didn't hear me. "What's so funny?"

"That's actually the name I used to give to people when I didn't want them to get my real name."

"Oh, so you like my name?"

"I sure do. So, what are you going to Kean for?"

"EOF program for incoming freshman. I'm a tutor. I'm in my second year and since I entered as an EOF student and did well, they asked if I could help out." Perfect, he is at least 18, no jail time today.

"Wow, that's great. What's your major?"

"Communication. You can turn right here," He pointed to the side entrance of the University, I was so busy talking to him I almost forgot where I was taking him. "I'm actually early, would you like to go in the cafe and grab a small bite to eat on me? As a thank you," his request seemed so innocent but I knew I couldn't stand up.

"Nah I'm good, but thanks man."

"I really don't want to go in the office just yet, I really don't like dealing with the old white women in their or the ghetto students as they make excuses why they don't have their homework."

"I don't want to be too forward, but you can chill here until its time for you to go, but I'm not dressed to go out of my car," I was hoping that I wasn't too forward but I did want to make it clear that I really didn't want him to leave me, not just yet, not without his number. He accepted my invitation and we talked for another 20 minutes about his major and sports, mostly sports. He was actually the third string running back for the University but knew his talents would not lead him to the NFL so he was trying to get his degree and get into broadcasting.

"Hey Jay, I really enjoyed talking with you and really appreciated the ride to work, but it's that time for me. We should do this again one day, most of my friends don't share my interest so I feel left out and never have anyone to talk to about football and school."

"That will be cool, here take my number and if you need a ride home and I'm in the area I'll come get you."

"Thanks yo, you are a good man. I'm glad I caught you looking at me last week," he started to laugh and gave me a sly smile.

"Wow, you knew?"

"It was obvious man, but I was flattered and your cute. So maybe I'll use this number for more than just a ride home." He slipped the tiny piece of paper I had written my number on in his cheap book bag and ran into the building. I sat back in my chair and just laughed, keeping my head facing forward so I wouldn't be caught checking him out again. NEW MESSAGE, my phone alerted me to a new text message: you could have looked if you wanted...thanks again man.

Regression

Tired of feeling like a battered wife whose bruises exposing her husband's love the night before, I regressed back to my days before my sidekicks, before my cell phones, before my beepers and internet connection, I returned to the time when I was a little lonely boy who did everything by myself for a day and a half. I went to visit the husband at work and really felt like I was unwanted, and instead of making excuses for what I perceived to be his behavior (clearly there are always two sides of the story and even though I tend to look at situations outside of myself, I do recognize that my perception can be different from someone else in a situation) and some how taking part of the blame for what had happened, I decided I had had enough. I was a bit extra, but not to the extent of causing a scene. The end result was a day and a half of unreturned text messages, phone calls, emails and other non-work related communications from everyone.

In the big finale of my regression I did something I rarely do and something I don't think I have ever done in my life, I went to a late movie alone. Probably being 1 of only 10 people in the world not to have seen Dark Knight but have seen all the other batman movies, I decided would enjoy a movie alone. I haven't been sleeping this week so it's not like I was going to throw off my sleep schedule, plus it was an 8 o'clock show (I'm an early bird during the week, so leaving out of a movie after 10 is a big deal). I sat and watched the movie alone, and it felt great. I didn't have to worry if the person I came with enjoyed the film, if they were sleep or if me putting my feet up on the seat in front of me annoyed them, I was free to be me. I must say the movie was everything I thought it was going to be and a little more and I'm really leaning toward getting some professional help again because I find myself liking and identifying way to much with most villains (love the twisted Joker). *sidenote* On my way home, standing in front of the theatre was this phyne speciman. Lightskin, about 5'10-6'o feet tall, built like a wide receiver, wearing a white cut off underarmour (sp) (my sports fans know what this is and how it fits perfectly on each ripple of a man's chest and abs) shirt, basketball shorts and some sneakers. Is it just me or when you are going through something with the person you love the most, the person you fantasy about seems to pop up? Did I mention his light brown eyes? We exchanged flirtous glares as I sped off (I had to stay focus, if I would have lingered I would have gotten myself in some serious trouble and even though I was mad at someone I didn't want to step out on what we are building). Anyway, Its early and my mind is all over the place so excuse my randomness this time, I get home and head straight downstairs. Everyone at home has pretty much left me alone this week because they felt bad for me since I haven't been able to sleep at night and they know I can be a cranky bitch when I don't sleep. So I slept through the night. My regression seemed to help me because hell, nothing was resolved, still hadn't spoken to the "husband" and still wasn't accepting calls or returning text messages. But last night I slept in my old room (now my sister's room), stayed to myself and slept straight through the night. Now I feel refreshed.

I was thinking about blocking comments for this post knowing that most will dwell on the wrong part of this post, but hell, do what you do. Happy Friday!

Truth, Love and Glasses

I'm back...it's been a minute since my last post, partly due to the fact that I haven't had the time to devote to a single post, but I need to get some things off my chest so here I am. If you have any questions about anything I'm about to say, need clarification on anything feel free to email me at jdavis07006@tmail.com for a quick response, just put jaysdistortedworld in the subject line or I will probably delete it thinking its spam. Of course those of you with my number can text me.

Truth
I've come to realize that most people don't want nor can they handle the truth. What they really want is someone to treat them like fucking kindergarten students and make them believe that everything is all nice and pretty. Well life isn't! What is the old saying, "truth hurts!" I get called an ass, asshole or jerk from time to time because when asked my opinion, ask for my insight, or asked why..., I give what is true for me. Believe it or not, it is normally flirted and what I'm really thinking is a lot harsher than what actually comes out of my mouth. "You can give your opinion without being so hurtful," I CAN'T. I don't want to leave any room for a misunderstanding as grey areas in life only lead to more questions and hurt in the long room. Plus, once again, life isn't pretty and nice, nor is the truth.

What I have done in a way to save the feelings of those who can't handle someone being honest with them is 1) don't give my unsolicited opinion. 2) avoid talking to them 3) ignore them at all cost. If someone can not handle the truth, if their therapist believes that my brand of truth is going to scar their already fragile psyche, then by all means keep it moving. If you don't want the truth stop asking questions you dumb fuck!


Friends and Lovers
As I go on in life I'm beginning to recognize that some single friends are not good for you and/or your mate when you are in or trying to build on a romantic relationship. Some friends want you to continue to act out and be a damn whore with them, in total disregard for what you have or are building. These friends need to be checked or released. I'm still unsure if their issue is they want to be with one of the individuals, are jealous they are not in a relationship or just plain dislike for their friend's mate, but the mate tends to look like the bad person because they can clearly see the friend for what he or she is. I have a good core of friends right now who like my "friend" and I know they wouldn't let me step out of character or do anything I wouldn't do in front of him when he is not around.

I don't see a lot of my close associates and friends, but personally I don't really see a problem with it. I know O is busy, D, brandon and Greg live to damn far (bitch you know I hate to drive, hell O is too far if he isn't at his mother's house), but that doesn't mean I don't care for them. I think most of them get it, but I know I had a long IM conversation with one person recently trying to clarify somethings up. I just don't see the need to be around my friends all the time. Sure, sometimes a friend needs to get away from their life, need to talk or just want to catch up, but to get me to drive, most people already know you have to be creative for this lazy man to move...lol. But football season is about to start so chances of chilling are going to be very limited (expect for you D, I can watch the game with you...lol).

Glasses?
I think I need glasses. Ok I'm pretty sure I need them, but I refuse to invest in them right now. My best friend has a nice pair that I looked good in, but I don't want to get any. No real reason why not, other than I hate going to the doctors of any kind. I know I'm probably going to have to go to the eye doctor before the year is out but like everything else, I'm going to put it off until the last minute. Nope, there is nothing you can say to make me go sooner, so don't bother. Really don't bother because I won't read it.

Ok I know this has been very random, but hell it helped me so I can care less. I probably will need to revisit one or more things in the future but for right now, I freed up some space in my head for other thoughts, so until the next time I need to free up some space I'm out.