Regression

Tired of feeling like a battered wife whose bruises exposing her husband's love the night before, I regressed back to my days before my sidekicks, before my cell phones, before my beepers and internet connection, I returned to the time when I was a little lonely boy who did everything by myself for a day and a half. I went to visit the husband at work and really felt like I was unwanted, and instead of making excuses for what I perceived to be his behavior (clearly there are always two sides of the story and even though I tend to look at situations outside of myself, I do recognize that my perception can be different from someone else in a situation) and some how taking part of the blame for what had happened, I decided I had had enough. I was a bit extra, but not to the extent of causing a scene. The end result was a day and a half of unreturned text messages, phone calls, emails and other non-work related communications from everyone.

In the big finale of my regression I did something I rarely do and something I don't think I have ever done in my life, I went to a late movie alone. Probably being 1 of only 10 people in the world not to have seen Dark Knight but have seen all the other batman movies, I decided would enjoy a movie alone. I haven't been sleeping this week so it's not like I was going to throw off my sleep schedule, plus it was an 8 o'clock show (I'm an early bird during the week, so leaving out of a movie after 10 is a big deal). I sat and watched the movie alone, and it felt great. I didn't have to worry if the person I came with enjoyed the film, if they were sleep or if me putting my feet up on the seat in front of me annoyed them, I was free to be me. I must say the movie was everything I thought it was going to be and a little more and I'm really leaning toward getting some professional help again because I find myself liking and identifying way to much with most villains (love the twisted Joker). *sidenote* On my way home, standing in front of the theatre was this phyne speciman. Lightskin, about 5'10-6'o feet tall, built like a wide receiver, wearing a white cut off underarmour (sp) (my sports fans know what this is and how it fits perfectly on each ripple of a man's chest and abs) shirt, basketball shorts and some sneakers. Is it just me or when you are going through something with the person you love the most, the person you fantasy about seems to pop up? Did I mention his light brown eyes? We exchanged flirtous glares as I sped off (I had to stay focus, if I would have lingered I would have gotten myself in some serious trouble and even though I was mad at someone I didn't want to step out on what we are building). Anyway, Its early and my mind is all over the place so excuse my randomness this time, I get home and head straight downstairs. Everyone at home has pretty much left me alone this week because they felt bad for me since I haven't been able to sleep at night and they know I can be a cranky bitch when I don't sleep. So I slept through the night. My regression seemed to help me because hell, nothing was resolved, still hadn't spoken to the "husband" and still wasn't accepting calls or returning text messages. But last night I slept in my old room (now my sister's room), stayed to myself and slept straight through the night. Now I feel refreshed.

I was thinking about blocking comments for this post knowing that most will dwell on the wrong part of this post, but hell, do what you do. Happy Friday!