Jay's Distorted World

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

long and funny-drag queens

On monday April 21, I traveled to asbury with Omar and 2 others to support our friend Tyson. Tyson was performing at a bar which was also having a drag show. I'm not going to bore you with our car conversation, even though we had fun in the car, this post is about the queens. I can't remember names so I will apologize in advance and I won't talk about the three good performers (one was a friend of Tyson...work bitch, you did your thing and those people were hating for reasons that were obvious to us), but don't the bad always get the attention?

First there was the host with the most and by most I mean the most stomach in that place. This tired white trash elephant was done. Her show could only be described as tired and I'm still trying to figure out what was worst, her performance, which she barely finished because she was out of breath, or her outfit which looked like a bad cut up table cloth. The people in the club ate her performance up as if she did more than just move her fat fingers. When she sat down and hosted the show, yes she hosted the show from a bar stoll, she was pretty funny so I will give credit where its do.

Tyson's friend performered next and as stated before, did her thing but the crowd paid it, guess they didn't know what talent was. Then came Tine Turner on crack. This bitch made whitney look like she needed weight watchers. I turned to O and asked, "he couldn't find a dress to feet him?" The girl straightened a mop, dyed it red, stole a cocktail dress from easy pickens and tried to work it. She wasn't that bad, but was nothing to look at.

The next performer was no better, apparently she not only was on the same diet as miss tina but stole clothes from the same store. She was all over the place and tried to flirt with the crowd, a mess! Which brings us to her name, I'm sure it wasn't her name, but it sounded like they said her name was, "such a mess." Whether it was her name or not, it fit and that's what we called her for the night.

But last and definitely least was Guile. This drunken bitch looked like the drunken child of Guile from street fighter and Britney Spears. This drunken mess was all over the place. I was embarassed for him. He is the reason why performers should not be allowed to drink. Tripping and falling all over the place. This bitch definitely took after her mother (if Britney was her moms). Can you believe this chick actually wanted to bring her beer up on stage with her. A hot drunken mess! And what was the first thing he did once he was done? Straight to the bar for another beer.

Fun night!

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6 Comments:

  • it was comic , if nothing else. i enjoyed bein with my teddy jay and my darling tyson. love u guys!

    By Blogger Omar Ramon, at 9:53 PM  

  • wow sounds hilarious

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:39 AM  

  • I'm going to try this whole comment on the phone thing... I mean really Jay, have we ever been to a "great" drag sshow? I wonder do these queens do bad on purpose just for laughs? Don't u have to audition first, or they just let anyone in because lack of people?

    By Blogger ShawnQt, at 5:45 AM  

  • I've been to a good show but I'm sure these queens were in it for the drinks (I'm assuming they got drinks for free). I posted this entry (and now comment) from my phone...I hate it!

    By Blogger Jay, at 5:52 AM  

  • Yea, this sounds funny. I've never been to one - but wouldn't mind. Um, Jay, you need to be in San Juan next year!!! Okay!

    By Blogger Darius T. Williams, at 6:34 AM  

  • Now this part had me on the fuckn floor. Jay you a dam mess. LMMFAO

    "Then came Tine Turner on crack. This bitch made whitney look like she needed weight watchers. I turned to O and asked, "he couldn't find a dress to feet him?" The girl straightened a mop, dyed it red, stole a cocktail dress from easy pickens and tried to work it."

    Im still laughn oh sit lol too funny.

    By Blogger Promiscuous X, at 12:30 PM  

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