Been on my mind
After chatting with my lil brother (not Byron, so Dammitt get your hand out your pants…lol), I figured I would finally write what has been on my mind for weeks, I finally found the right words. This is not intended to put anyone on the spot, call anyone out or cause tension, its just what has been going on with me. I'm going to try to put a positive spin on things so here I go...
With everything that has been going on with me I was down and really was hoping I could lean on those close to me for comfort and support. I realize that I'm difficult and I don't try to hide it from people, I am who I am, but I hoped that those that were close to me would recognize that I needed them during this down period. I don't need anyone to baby me and check on my health, but a greater presence in my life would have been nice. Some have stepped up and done a great job while others have fallen back. I just wanted to say thank you to those who I haven't and just acknowledge people. I don't want to focus on the negative anymore, just roll around inthe positive and let it fill my life.
Brandon. We have become closer since I got out of the hospital and I'm thankful for that. You treat me like nothing had happened, hell, sometimes I have to remind you that I can't rip and run like I used to, but I love you for that. When we talk, which is almost everyday, or when we chill you make me feel like nothing is wrong in my life. Thank you for everything and Liyah misses you and Mikael...lmao.
Omar. I love you to death, but if you walk to my house from yours again I don't know who will beat you first, me or my mother...lol. Thanks man. Like Brandon, you treat me the same and you make sure we hold a conversation at least once a day. Hell, my mom was thinking about giving you a key because she saw you so much...lol. We never did much when we chilled, but that was fine with me, actually, many days it was perfect.
Cris. I know you read my blog even though you don't comment but thanks man. Even though I hate bringing up my health you make sure you check up on me and make sure I'm doing ok and let me know that someone else is going through a similar situation. Thanks...oh yea where is my damn package...lol.
Liyah. You could have easily made it onto my, MY FRIENDS post, you are great. You know I have love for you and not only because you are carrying my neice. You are the female version of my brother so I really don't need to say more. Love you and will talk to you later on.
Those who made it onto my, MY FRIENDS post I chose not to re-list you, all of you have been great. I didn't think I could be closer to any of you, but I have been and Love you all a great deal. Daniel, our relationship has changed some, but I can honestly say you have made more of an attempt than I have, thanks man. Dee thanks for listening and being you, yes we have come along way since "The Lobby."
Shawn and X, I miss you guys. Whether its true or not I just feel like you have forgotten about me recently. I realize that we all have our issues, but right now I need my friends around.
With everything that has been going on with me I was down and really was hoping I could lean on those close to me for comfort and support. I realize that I'm difficult and I don't try to hide it from people, I am who I am, but I hoped that those that were close to me would recognize that I needed them during this down period. I don't need anyone to baby me and check on my health, but a greater presence in my life would have been nice. Some have stepped up and done a great job while others have fallen back. I just wanted to say thank you to those who I haven't and just acknowledge people. I don't want to focus on the negative anymore, just roll around inthe positive and let it fill my life.
Brandon. We have become closer since I got out of the hospital and I'm thankful for that. You treat me like nothing had happened, hell, sometimes I have to remind you that I can't rip and run like I used to, but I love you for that. When we talk, which is almost everyday, or when we chill you make me feel like nothing is wrong in my life. Thank you for everything and Liyah misses you and Mikael...lmao.
Omar. I love you to death, but if you walk to my house from yours again I don't know who will beat you first, me or my mother...lol. Thanks man. Like Brandon, you treat me the same and you make sure we hold a conversation at least once a day. Hell, my mom was thinking about giving you a key because she saw you so much...lol. We never did much when we chilled, but that was fine with me, actually, many days it was perfect.
Cris. I know you read my blog even though you don't comment but thanks man. Even though I hate bringing up my health you make sure you check up on me and make sure I'm doing ok and let me know that someone else is going through a similar situation. Thanks...oh yea where is my damn package...lol.
Liyah. You could have easily made it onto my, MY FRIENDS post, you are great. You know I have love for you and not only because you are carrying my neice. You are the female version of my brother so I really don't need to say more. Love you and will talk to you later on.
Those who made it onto my, MY FRIENDS post I chose not to re-list you, all of you have been great. I didn't think I could be closer to any of you, but I have been and Love you all a great deal. Daniel, our relationship has changed some, but I can honestly say you have made more of an attempt than I have, thanks man. Dee thanks for listening and being you, yes we have come along way since "The Lobby."
Shawn and X, I miss you guys. Whether its true or not I just feel like you have forgotten about me recently. I realize that we all have our issues, but right now I need my friends around.
posted by Jay at
9:45 AM
7 Comments:
Hmmmmmmm...yea we have come a long way since the 'Lobby'. I'm having a drink for you right now. I know I haven't been around as much but you know how 'Damnit!' do. I'll try to make a greater effort to be around but ya know tha kid is going thru shit himself. They say pain is pleasure and pressure bust pipes. Well my pipes haven't busted and I expect yours won't either. Keep your head up and stay true to thyne own self. Love you big butt!!
~Damnit!
PS: Fuck your friends list cause I'm on the hidden one. LoL. 1 HuNeT!
By
bLaQ~n~MiLD, at 5:48 PM
I miss you Jay. Stay encouraged.
By
Ty, at 3:21 PM
I love that I met you.
I mean that in the greatest way fathomable.
Now while the circumstances were a tad scandalous *hee hee hee*
I could not have had the outcome be any other way.
Damnit now! You rest yourself and stop worrying, remember what I told you!
And as for that package, mmmm...
Let's see...
You already got a Saturday night preview, so I might have to sneak in a Sunday Matinee.
P.S.: I will no longer hide my comments.
By
Anonymous, at 1:08 AM
Ahh - these types of situations make it hard on people. I know someone in my life who lost her husband - our relationship has changed too - not drammatically, but it's changed. I still feel the same way about her, I guess it just takes time to rebuild the relationships. Hopefully, the people that you need in your corner will definitely be there.
By
Darius T. Williams, at 8:34 AM
ok you know we dont post messages on these things, but i will comment on this one. We haven't been there for you like we wanted to, but i think you really scared me with the hospital thing, and i couldn't get myself to come see you, with everything that was going on in my life, (friends and family passing). We were very happy to see you that day at Shawn's even though it may not have seem that way. Yeah we really miss you, you're the one that really been real with us, and i must say that we are alike in someways. Thats why i respect you. And somewhere, somehow we will become even better friends, and you will understand why we distance ourselves from others. We will keep u in our hearts until things get better, and yes we will always see you as Jay and not Jay that was in the hospital
By
Anonymous, at 6:56 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
By
Promiscuous X, at 4:12 AM
I have been busy and busy and more busy. Not having a car and few ways to get out of your hometown presents a problem. On top of being sick, balancing school and school work and a job and worrying about money was enough to take up much of my time. I am finding out how to free up more of my time. I have my car back and you will see me more often. I don't know about the school thing as of yet, time will tell. I try to be there for everyone and that is my shortcoming. I can't. so the ones that really need me doesn't see me enough and the ones that don't, see me too often. I will try to do better. Maybe next post I will be included. be a better me!
By
fuzzy, at 8:23 AM
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