Jay for President

I realize I'm a little young to legally run for president, but I think a United States governed by Jay would be a great nation. So, what will I stand for, what are my issues, how will I solve our problems? Here's just a taste. (oh maybe i should state this upfront, this may offend most of you and to that i say in my best Ms. Jones impersonation, Oh Well!)

IMMIGRATION: Lock down all boarders. I say no more immigrants should be allowed. Have the coast guard return the banana boats, make shift rafts and boats back to their countries. No more bring them here first then send them back, nope, turn their asses back around and wish them well. Oh and I friends to the south, we need to enlist the help of the Germans and build a concrete wall with electric strips at the base and spikes at the top. For those illegal immigrates that are currently in this country, you have to leave. No explanation on why you are here, you have to leave, end of discussion. And for those that think they are slick, if you had your kid here, here are your options: 1) your child can stay go through our foster care system where they will probably be beating and molested. 2) take your child with you and he/she looses any rights as an American citizen. Any employer found employing illegal immigrants will be fined a minimal one million dollars and face other penalties.

FOREIGN POLICY: Simply put, we focus on fixing our country and you do the damn thing with yours. We are not the big brother of the world nor are we the saviors, actually it's beginning to look like we are the biggest trouble makers out there. Let's clean up our image, we are going to work on our country. No more sending money to third world countries, no more adding our two cent in the middle east crisis'. Hey Korea, you want nuclear weapons, do you. Iraq, you want to beat your women, go for it.

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT: Time for a change. Prison will no longer be for rehabilitation, it will be for punishment. TV, radios, exercise equipment and games will be taken out of the prisons. Recreation time will consist of a copy of War and Peace or Salis Manor. Murderers and rapist will be forced to share a common cell, unable to exit for any reason, for the duration of their sentence. Celebrities will be held to the same laws as the working man, no more working out deals to avoid jail time or getting out early because of a panic attack.

ECONOMY: With illegal immigrants gone, there will be jobs open, many of which are less than desirable. However, those jobs that are vacated by the illegal immigrants will be taken up by those getting social assistance (welfare, unemployment). No complaints, you either work or you get no money. We still need to rely on the assistance of other countries for things such as oil/gas, fine we will do a better job of negotiating the best deal possible while drilling off our coast and wilderness areas. Companies will be given incentives to create and maintain jobs here instead of moving to other countries and importing them back to the United States. The rich will get taxed more. No more breaks for charitable giving, the rich will finally pay their fair share.

EDUCATION: New Schools need to be built, a hiring explosion of teachers needs to happen and the bitching of parents need to stop. In an effort to decrease the avg. class size, new schools will need to be built, thus new teachers need to be hired. As I respect parents' that want to be an active member in their child's education, I must say, your opinions are just that, our teachers are professionals. If a child is not meeting the standards in one grade, they need to stay back. If a child has not mastered 5th grade, why move them to 6th? Special Education, yeah these students will also need to meet pre-determined standards and if they can not meet those standards, then they to need to stay back.

LAWS: Church and state need to be separate. No more christian observances. No more vacations for Easter and Christmas, use your vacation time if you want those days off. Abortion, all for it. Don't think of it as killing an unborn baby, but a planned miscarriage. But I'm open for compromise, all of those opposed to abortion, can register for a national registry. Whenever a woman wants an abortion but can't get one, we will deliver her child to you when she has the baby. Social services already has more kids to deal with then they can handle so this works for everyone. An unborn baby doesn't die, the mother doesn't have to try and love a baby she didn't want and social services doesn't have to worry about finding a home for the child when the mother turns out to be neglectful. It will be a federal crime to file bankruptcy, fire thousands of workers and still manage to shell out million dollar severance packages to top executives. Budget cuts start from the top not the bottom.

There you have it, a brief description of some of the issues I will be addressing on my campaign trail, where are my supporters and I need a running mate.