Good Guy

For years now I have claimed to be a good guy, the perfect mate, a good catch, however, I have been questioning my statues.

Attentive, compassionate and giving, I thought were the qualities of a good man, qualities that I associated with myself. These qualities plus the fact that most people didn't want to date me because I was "too nice," made me believe I was a good guy and that's why I kept finishing last. I was told more than once by some girls, "you are not someone a girl wants to date, but you are someone we would marry." WHAT!?!! Apparently, girls love assholes, liars and players. They loved the look, the false sense of protection the thugs provided, they love the glares from other women as they hold hands with the liar and player even though these women will have their man later. Sadly, this seems to be true with my gay brothers as well.

But am I a good guy? Am I the perfect gentleman women and men claim they want but rarely committ to? Probably not. When I'm not in a relationship, I exhibit a lot of whorish tendecies. I don't feel a moral conflict with being sucked off by more than one person in a week or day for that matter. One night stands become frequent, jump offs become my new best friends, stability and compassion become strangers to my world. This can't be the mark of a good man, maybe a good man gone wrong.

So why do I feel morally free? Because I'm honest. Even in my whorish state I refuse to lead people on. I give them the information needed to make their own informed choice. I play by my rules and let those people know how it is, if its just sex its just sex, if its more than its more. If I'm talking to more than one person, I let it be known.

I have come to the conclusion that I'm not a good man in the puriest form, but this doesn't mean I'm a bad guy. I'm an honest man. I give of myself honestly, I speak the truth and make good on my promises within my ability. I have come to accept my faults, unwilling to make excuses for them (we don't sleep around because we are men or have needs, we do it because we can, doesn't mean its right) and impress the positive. I may not meet the standards I have for a good man all the time, but being a good honest man to the one I'm with matters most.

I guess I can explain it simply, I play and let the dawg out but when I'm in a relationship, the angel wings appear and the good guy within takes over. But in both stages, the honest man is always there.