Package Deal
I'm a big fan of the sitcom Will & Grace, so while watching this weekend a question came in my mind. Grace's ex boyfriend, Danny, came back in her life briefly and left us with a look into Will and Grace's relationship as a parting shot at the two. Simply put he stated, "when you date Grace, you date Will and Grace..." That led me to this simple question with three different views/outlooks, what do you do in this situation? I mean, Danny was dating Grace, didn't really care for Will. Will is Grace's best friend and doesn't like Danny. Grace loves both her best friend and her man. What to do? For me the answer seems simple, but I know I'm normally the person with the conflicting views.
On one hand, I believe that Grace should do everything to keep the two separate. Sure, as an adult, Will can and would be respectful of Grace's boyfriend despite his feelings but why put him in the position to be around someone he knowingly doesn't care for. On those same lines, why put your (wo)man in the position to be around someone they are not comfortable around or who you know that doesn't really care for them? Just seems like a simple solution. However, Grace has the problem that those are the two people closest to her and wants to share equal amounts of time with them. ...Nope can't think about her side, there are 24 hours in a day (even number), 2 other people (even number), work it out if you don't want to short change anyone...lol.
On one hand, I believe that Grace should do everything to keep the two separate. Sure, as an adult, Will can and would be respectful of Grace's boyfriend despite his feelings but why put him in the position to be around someone he knowingly doesn't care for. On those same lines, why put your (wo)man in the position to be around someone they are not comfortable around or who you know that doesn't really care for them? Just seems like a simple solution. However, Grace has the problem that those are the two people closest to her and wants to share equal amounts of time with them. ...Nope can't think about her side, there are 24 hours in a day (even number), 2 other people (even number), work it out if you don't want to short change anyone...lol.
So, what to do when there is a package deal? Having had this conversation with someone I'm talking to already and my best friend and I going through a similar situation, I think it is safe to say that I would avoid conflict. The two shall only cross when it is necessary for both to be around (birthday dinners and other special occasions), conversations concerning the other won't happen (unless its to bash them...I mean really, it can be fun and therapeutic...lol). I'm waiting on your response (yes, even you lurkers out there can respond anonymously, I don't mind).
Labels: relationship
posted by Jay at
7:01 AM
14 Comments:
I have to say I'm like you. You'd have to do all you can to keep the two seperate.
The sad part about that is, when signifigant moments happen in your life, you want all the people that are special to you share in those special times.
It's unfortunate and inevitable that everyone like will like eachother. But we have to what we can to coexit in harmony.
. . . . Good blog!
By
Acoustic Soul, at 7:31 AM
Due to recent experiences, I've made the decision that my dude will not be around my friends, period!
~Damnit!
By
bLaQ~n~MiLD, at 9:43 AM
LMAO...good answer...lol
By
Jay, at 9:53 AM
Blaq...u have the answer! LOL...But Jay...why would u endulge or even entertain bashing of either one from either side? In my most recent situation, my dude and my friends CANNOT seem to get along...and for the most part they dont...so when there is a gathering...i either come alone and stay for a short while, or I make sure that shorty has something to do! We never go in as Jay-Z and Beyonce! LOL.
By
Thoughts, at 10:23 AM
for me it is important that my family like a guy, and that he likes them, because i love my family and they ain't goin nowhere. Latley i haven't been around my friends too much, so I am not so sure that their vote holds mch wieght. as long as you don't disrespect each other when you are face to face, which will be rarely, then it's all good. I will say that it is ideal for your mate to be able to get along with ya peeps. not critically important, but ideal. The thing is that they have two different roles in your life and both relationships deserve equal attention.
By
Omar Ramon, at 10:24 AM
Random- it was a joke
Ok so everyone is able to answer it from one side of the equatation, which is the easier one, interesting
By
Jay, at 10:38 AM
It has always been important that my friends and my boyfriend get along, as long as I remember. When you have more friends, it becomes harder to please everybody, but as long as the people that I am closest to respect each other, then I'm cool with it.
Side Note: Like in reference to Omar, it was important to me that he gave me his blessing on Fuzzy. They both may bicker like an Older brother to a little brother, but the mutual respect is there.
I didn't always agree on his decision on [a guy] Omar was dating, but as along as he was happy, I was behind him. Yet as you can see, Omar never brung [that guy] around, for other reasons of course.
By
ShawnQt, at 11:50 AM
Sorry for making this so personal, but it was the only way I could explain it.
By
ShawnQt, at 11:51 AM
Will and Grace is a TV show!
Fuzzy and Shawn are for real.... then not... then for real again....
The point being, nothing anyone dreams up for TV is or can ever be as complicated or as difficult as real life.. or conversely as rewarding as real life.
Dudes are an issue because they take away from your time with your friends. But then your friends get their own dudes and spend less time with you. Its a vicious circle. Death to the dudes. lol.
By
ponoono, at 7:21 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
By
Jay, at 5:02 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
By
bLaQ~n~MiLD, at 7:30 AM
My decision is based on when shit goes south and there's a seperation. Then it's like you can't remove this person from your life because they've made connections with your friends. Trust me it is an annoying situation and one that I will not place myself again in the future.
(Disclosure: No blogger in particular was harmed during this comment. Questions for specifics will be ignored.)
By
bLaQ~n~MiLD, at 7:40 AM
Ok why keep me, the "husband" and the other one apart lol... sure you have a closer relationship with the others but hey time built their platforms. interacting shouldnt be an issue atleast not from my part, ill be nice as long as theyre around, no promises when theyre gon lol u already know...but were all grown men, we should be able to be civil enough to keep you happy, and drama free, atleast when it comes to us... muahz
By
Anonymous, at 10:06 AM
due to our convo i will be flexible and take it from a nother approach. this is notposed as advice to you jay. just putting my general thoughts out there.
(not everyone has a best friend and i feel as though it's a blesing to be able to say i have one and it is different than a normal friendly relationship because it is tighter and BF's tend to spend more direct adn intimate time with one another)
it can be difficult to share ya BF with his significant other. you try to be adult and respect that there is someone else in their life that they care about just as much as they care abotu you albeit in a different way. it is difficult enough to be reasonable and selfless in a situation like that and if you don't care for the third party it may prove even more of a challenge. if you dont' like your bf's partner there is really only one course of action. 1) SHUT YOUR MOUTH- keep any and all opinions to your damn self. if you are asked yo may speak BUT censor yourself and tread lightly. depending on what stage of the relationship the two people are in and how serious it is, you could risk putting yourself on the spot as a hater, sabateur, and bitter jealous shady jaded faggot who just can't stand to see anyone else happy if he ain't. If you are of crafty tongue then you may use it to voice your opinion without jepeoardizing your cherished relationship with ya BF.
2) Avoid all third wheel situations and small group gatherings. The less distractions you have at your disposal the more likely it is you will have to deal with the third party one on one and end up having to fake until your iron will shatters under pressure and you all have a falling out of some sort. Remember: you don't like the bitch, and chances are it's for a reason! you will more than likely find something he/she says or does getting under your skin and your self control, social graces and that faux friendly face you put up will fail you and there may be no coming back from that breaking point!
the end lol
By
Omar Ramon, at 3:12 PM
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