part 1

Dear Writer,

You may not realize it but I have been around all your life, watching you grow into the man you are today. You tried to ignore me, abused me and most recently taken a piece of my very being, but I’m still with you.

When you were younger I don’t think you knew I was there while you cried alone in the closest, feeling like you were an outcast in your own family. The darkest space could not hide you from me even though you thought no one could see your pain. Think back to the night when your Grandfather died, you thought it was just strength that got you through that difficult time, and yes, you were strong for those around you, but I was there also. I held your brother when you were weak and couldn’t go on. I was your strength to go on and I don’t plan on leaving you now.

During your college years you knew I was there but just didn’t care. I watched silently as you pushed lovers and friends out of your life without a care in the world. Relationships for you back then were like scrap pieces of paper, great for a moment but once their use was complete they were thrown away and forgotten. I tried to make my presence known, let you know that I was the one that would keep you going, but you just turned your back on me and left me to watch you from a far.

Even now you try to fight me off and deny that we are one, but I’m still here. You try to deny me, but my presence has grown in your life. When you hurt, I cry, we are one. We even spoke about your love for Antwan and how it won’t die, but instead of listening to me, you try to solve things on your own. You bring in others hoping they will give you the answer you want, silence my advice, but you only hurt them and yourself. Will you ever listen to me? Take more time, I’m not going anywhere any time soon.

I love you and will always be apart of your world,