Talk with Mom

Ok the moment of truth is here, I talked to my mom today. I was nervous, it was like I hadn't already had the big talk with her. Like I didn't already expose "the big secret." We were alone in my car twice and the words did not present themselves to me, the situation did not call for a serious heart to heart. So I bulked, didn't take this opporunity. But thank God for Oprah.

She was watching Oprah when I walked into her, I came in just to say hi, nothng else. Oprah was talking to a young lady that mother just found out she was gay. "ok this is my chance," I thought to myself. During the commericial I turned to my mother. "Mom, when I told you about me you seemed quiet, you didn't say much, why was that? Honestly, I thought you already knew," I stated almost out of no where. My mother turned toward me with a slight look of surprise on her face. Without changing her fcial expression she said, "I didn't know. I knew something was different and I couldn't find out what it was. I mean, you are an attractive young man and all throughout high school you didn't have a girlfriend. When I asked you about girls you seemed uninterested."

I thought back on my high school days briefly. I really wasn't interested in too much of anything in those days. I would look at the other boys, point out the ones that were cute in my head, but I went to school and came home. I had no interest in anything. And thats what I told her. I explained to her that I was confused about who I was during those days because all of knew of Homosexuals, other than they liked persons of the same sex, was that the men acted like girls and probably had a secret desire to be one. That wasn't me. Then she asked when I knew. I had answered this question from her before, but this time I gave her a more detailed answer. "I've always known I was different. I really knew I liked boys back in elementary school." This took her by surprise. She couldn't believe this. But it is/was the truth, I knew I didn't like girls.

I was happy that we were able to talk but during our talk I discovered that someone had opened their mouth and told my sister. I never told her because we are not close and I didn't think it was any of her business to know. But whatever, whats done is done. So talking wasn't that bad. I think my mother just wants me to be happy and she really seems open minded.