Testing the waters
ok i'm going to try this blog thing out, not sure how often i'm going to do this but i'm sure i will have something of interest or debate to write about to so stay tuned.
i guess i should start with what has been on my mind the past couple of months. i fell in love with someone which is something i'm not used to doing. i normally keep people to a distant, try to avoid the attachment of making friends or getting into a serious relationship, but it happens. the problem is i don't kno where this is headed or how the other person really feels. i'm stubbourn to the core and can't understand why someone doesn't want to be with me. i'm not ugly (ok, i'm not the most attractive person in the world and i damn sure don't have a six pack...but ugly, i'm far from that), i have a job and when i care for someone, they get treated like royality. I keep hearing the same old bullshit, its not you its me, but by the third person that shit gets old and tired, and you really begin to look at u and wonder, is it really me? i mean if its truely the issues of the other person, does that mean i'm a magnetic for the mentally unstable, the relationship challenged members of society? or is there something about my personality that screams, RUN AWAY? i'm trying to figure this out and not completely give up on the idea of being in a relationship, but it is difficult. a casual relationship seems to be all that people want or can handle from me, so should i settle for that?
thats it for this entry, when i get the hang of this blog thing and know how to restrict some viewers i will be more graphic and detailed but for now this tease will have to do. hit me up with ur comments
i guess i should start with what has been on my mind the past couple of months. i fell in love with someone which is something i'm not used to doing. i normally keep people to a distant, try to avoid the attachment of making friends or getting into a serious relationship, but it happens. the problem is i don't kno where this is headed or how the other person really feels. i'm stubbourn to the core and can't understand why someone doesn't want to be with me. i'm not ugly (ok, i'm not the most attractive person in the world and i damn sure don't have a six pack...but ugly, i'm far from that), i have a job and when i care for someone, they get treated like royality. I keep hearing the same old bullshit, its not you its me, but by the third person that shit gets old and tired, and you really begin to look at u and wonder, is it really me? i mean if its truely the issues of the other person, does that mean i'm a magnetic for the mentally unstable, the relationship challenged members of society? or is there something about my personality that screams, RUN AWAY? i'm trying to figure this out and not completely give up on the idea of being in a relationship, but it is difficult. a casual relationship seems to be all that people want or can handle from me, so should i settle for that?
thats it for this entry, when i get the hang of this blog thing and know how to restrict some viewers i will be more graphic and detailed but for now this tease will have to do. hit me up with ur comments
posted by Jay at
9:37 PM
1 Comments:
I know very well what it feels like to be apprehensive about letting anyone close to you. I still deal with that in many ways.Although it may seem I am friendly and personable, the cover of the book is so decieving.
Yo just take it step by step and open up little by little. Sometimes it is sooo necessary to step outside of your comfort zone but it's definitely not going to happen all at once. Take it easy, boo.
By
Omar Ramon, at 12:54 AM
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