He Called
Ok, mom's wasn't feeling well today, her back is giving her problems, but don't worry, I have somethings to let go. Its odd, I'm in a writing mood, this might not be my last blog of the night.
Lamar called about an hour ago. A mix of emotions came over me. I was happy that my friend still cared and had not forgotten about me. I was happy that he had kept his promise and called me back. But mostly I was confused. I had decided to cross him out of my life, I no longer needed his part-time friendship. But was I too quick to judge and relinquish his friendship? I said hello and there was a moment of silence like we were mourning the death of our friendship. I kept my end of the conversation general, I mean, I've shared more emotions with all of you who read this than I did with him. I did tell him that I felt like he grew distant and I felt like we were no longer friends. He stated that he felt the same way and he realized that he was trying to avoid everything that reminded him of home (New Jersey). I can understand this to a certain degree, I understand why he ran away from Jersey, but I thought our friendship meant more.
When he started to talk about his life and the drama that was going on in his life, I became grossly uninterested. It was like a cartoon or a family sitcom, he spoke and I caught sections of the conversations. If I had to repeat the conversation, the details would be scattered and so distorted it would no longer be funny. I guess he sensed my disinterest in the conversation and my overall uneasy tone, he suggested that I call him back later when I was able to talk. I hung up and was glad that was over. As much as I wanted to pour out all my feelings, tell him exactly what I had been feeling. Explain my pain and confusion. Tell him about all the mistakes I had made. I wanted to catch up with my best friend, but I held back. He knew the true me and I didn't have to pretend or have to catch him up on the details of my life, but at this point talking to him on the phone, I felt like he was a mistaken one night stand that I mistakenly gave my number to but didn't bother to exchange names. Now I'm not sure what i'm going to do. I'll keep you posted.
Lamar called about an hour ago. A mix of emotions came over me. I was happy that my friend still cared and had not forgotten about me. I was happy that he had kept his promise and called me back. But mostly I was confused. I had decided to cross him out of my life, I no longer needed his part-time friendship. But was I too quick to judge and relinquish his friendship? I said hello and there was a moment of silence like we were mourning the death of our friendship. I kept my end of the conversation general, I mean, I've shared more emotions with all of you who read this than I did with him. I did tell him that I felt like he grew distant and I felt like we were no longer friends. He stated that he felt the same way and he realized that he was trying to avoid everything that reminded him of home (New Jersey). I can understand this to a certain degree, I understand why he ran away from Jersey, but I thought our friendship meant more.
When he started to talk about his life and the drama that was going on in his life, I became grossly uninterested. It was like a cartoon or a family sitcom, he spoke and I caught sections of the conversations. If I had to repeat the conversation, the details would be scattered and so distorted it would no longer be funny. I guess he sensed my disinterest in the conversation and my overall uneasy tone, he suggested that I call him back later when I was able to talk. I hung up and was glad that was over. As much as I wanted to pour out all my feelings, tell him exactly what I had been feeling. Explain my pain and confusion. Tell him about all the mistakes I had made. I wanted to catch up with my best friend, but I held back. He knew the true me and I didn't have to pretend or have to catch him up on the details of my life, but at this point talking to him on the phone, I felt like he was a mistaken one night stand that I mistakenly gave my number to but didn't bother to exchange names. Now I'm not sure what i'm going to do. I'll keep you posted.
posted by Jay at
6:18 PM
2 Comments:
Now you have somewhat of a "why". The only thing that you need to worry about is the "how" you're gonna handle it. Dont forget to be honest with yourself and him.
By
fuzzy, at 12:18 PM
wow i know how that is. when the juice is gone you might as well put the glass down. *sigh*
By
Omar Ramon, at 1:09 PM
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