Advice needed
Let me be honest, I just wrote another blog, probably my longest one to date, but I haven't posted it. I revealed somethings that I haven't even told my therapist. I'm not share if i'm ready to shware all of that but I know I need to deal with some of it soon. I feel like I owe you something, I haven't written a blog in like a week.
Instead of writing a blog, I would like to pose a question that I need some feedback on. I told my mother back in November that I'm gay. Surprisingly, she offered her support and love and that was the last time we talked about my sexuality and my love life. I used to feel that my mother and I were like best friends, but now I feel a void in our relationship. Should I ask her why she hasn't asked about my love life? Ask her how she really feels about my sexuality? or tell her about my past relationships and where I stand now with "A".
Instead of writing a blog, I would like to pose a question that I need some feedback on. I told my mother back in November that I'm gay. Surprisingly, she offered her support and love and that was the last time we talked about my sexuality and my love life. I used to feel that my mother and I were like best friends, but now I feel a void in our relationship. Should I ask her why she hasn't asked about my love life? Ask her how she really feels about my sexuality? or tell her about my past relationships and where I stand now with "A".
posted by Jay at
10:28 PM
5 Comments:
I don't think a mother will ever turn away from her son needing to talk to his mother, no matter how uncomfortable she may or may not feel.
By
ShawnQt, at 7:43 AM
I honestly believe that there is no harm in asking questions. remember, the question may be hard to ask, but the answer may be twice as hard to deal with.
Do you feel that you know the answer to your questions, and seeking confirmation? or do you really not know?
Whatever you do, think about how you would ask her, and what you would address. If you chose to ask her, word your mouth carefully and be prepared to receive her answer.
Hope all works out for you...
By
fuzzy, at 9:37 AM
I never got to have that talk with my Mother before she died, so I really say that you should talk to her about how you feel.
By
That Dude Right There, at 11:50 PM
If you choose to talk to her about it and don't get the response or reaction that you thought, just remember that she still may need time. She may have been supportive when you brought up the subject before but that doesn't mean that she has totally accepted it or come to grasps with it. That may be the reason for avoidance of certain subjects or closeness.
I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
By
Ty, at 12:27 PM
More and more I am finding myself extremely lucky. I came out to my friends (some of whom you know Jay) during my senior year of high school and came out to my family later that year after graduating. My mother was amazing, in fact she said she was relieved. She had it in her head that my attitude, my lack of communication and my lack of happiness was somehow her doing. She wondered where she went wrong. Once I confided in her that my unhappiness was my hiding my life from her and that was the cause, she was relieved. It wasn't her doing. My family accepted pretty damn well too... well except my father. But he hadn't been part of my life, ever so to me it didn't matter. Then once he found out I was a Top he was fine. Damn latin men and their silly machismo stereotypes.
I eventually just sat my mother down and got it all out. Everything. I recalled times when she had asked me questions and explained to her my reactions. Gave her the "why's" of everything.
I know I am late, so I will say this. I hope you sat down with your mom and just had an honest conversation. Encourage her to ask you the questions she has ALWAYS wanted to ask you. All mothers have an intuition and have wanted to ask questions. Be honest. Honesty is the best policy is a cliché but it is truth. I got lucky, like I said. No one shunned me or treated me any different. Well except for my aunt who figured I must know all there is to know about fashion and home decorating, despite my obvious lack of pop culture leanings and inaptitude toward home furnishings.
Give them a chance and sometimes the worst thing you think will happen is not what happens at all and you will be surprised.
By
Daemian, at 2:25 PM
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