New Day

I’ve decided I need a change in my life. My life needs to go in a different direction. Being a patient person, I’m going to force the issue and begin to change things in my life that don’t necessarily match the image I would like to portray.

Today, March 25, 2007, Lustfilled on BGCLive.com will no longer exist. I decided to delete my account because I’m tired of the average gay bullshit. Majority of the people on there are not looking for a long lasting connection, a relationship built on trust and honest, merely a quick hook up. Those who claim to be looking for a relationship, not beat for the one night stands, find themselves at the end of the night with a dick/ass in their mouths, wake up in the morning either trying to define their new situation or explain that this is not who they really are and they normally don’t do that. Sounds familiar to anyone? It does to me. I’m not an angel. I’ve gone on dates only to hook up with the person at the end of the night, left my house to get a quick blow job, all while looking for a deep connection. Sadly, these “situations” were just that, a one night situation. Many of these people I wouldn’t even consider a one night stand because what we had lacked the connection associated with a one night stand. It was just head or sex, nothing more. Shit, I’ve gotten head from people that I had no physical attraction to. So now I’m still single, still looking for a relationship after all the head, after all the notes on BGC. Am I surprised, no. Walk around like a whore, play the game like a whore, would any real man with positive goals and morals take you seriously?

So a change is needed. It’s time to give off the image of someone that is willing and deserving of being treated well. Give off the image of someone that can and will be faithful, trusting and honest. No more BGCLive.com. No more random blow jobs and hook ups. Yes, I’ve said this before, but to change our bad habits, sometimes we have to change the places we go and the things we do. So this is going to be my effort for change. I want a different type of man. I want to be a different type of man, so I have to do different things. I will begin to venture out of my comfort zone, visit new places and sites.

In an effort to change, I will try hard to stop drinking. As a family we are going to begin to eat healthier and in accordance with this new food program, I’m going to try to cut out the alcohol. This will be difficult for me, but I’m confident that I can do it. Even though I know I can do it, I will need the help of my friends to keep me on the straight and narrow path when it comes to me drinking, especially my drinking buddies (you know who you are, Dee, Mike, Greg and Brandon…lol). I need to get my health on track.