my friend

I never thought I would miss someone as much as I miss my ex best friend. I think about picking up the phone at least three times a week to call him, just to hear his voice. I just want to know that he is alright. The simple answer or comment that will be given is to reach out to him and just call, if life was only that simple. Or is it?

For those of you reading my blog for the first time or who have joined us after the friendship break up of Lamar and I, let me recap. I felt our friendship was based solely on the emotional needs of Lamar and since his move to D.C. I felt a strong disconnect between us. Instead of continuing to be his emotional slave, I freed myself. Now I’m hurting and longing for my friend. I can’t help but feel like something is wrong with him, that he has traveled down a rode of destruction and no one is there for him to put his shoulder on. In some respect I know I need him also. Need someone there that has been there through some of my darker moments.

Just call! I removed his email address and phone number from my phone. In an attempt to stay strong in situations just like this I removed his contact information so I could not run back to him. Not sure if that was the right idea now, but at the time it was needed. I realize if I go digging around my room I will find an old phone bill or old phone with his number on it, but I’m trying to be strong. But that’s not going to last long.

I think I’m going on a treasure hunt. I miss my friend. L